its been awhile. i sometimes feel like not everything is important enough for me to post, which i am probobly not right about. summer is over, my girl is in school, today completes her first week. this month, i took her to the outer banks again, she loved it. on my way down to the north carolina, we stopped in virginia, the first time i've been in a while. we walked through the the colonial williamsburg historic area, i showed her our old home. i showed her the big live oak, my college, pointed out the smells, the perfect things. it was strange, she didnt remember these things. she even kind of didnt care about these things. i am not sure how i feel. i just have to remember shes her, and not me. then i went to dendron. i bought a house here when i was 21. it was a sweet shotgun cottage, tin roof, painted wood floors, big windows. i was married in the church next door, and had my reception across the street in the horse pasture. now that i am divorced, none of that last stuff matters, but nonetheless, i had only magic memories of first church street. in past years, the town was hosting the idea of a coal plant, and the town died. the coal plant was fought, and in the past three weeks, they decided to not do it. i think we were there the day after the verdict. most of the houses were on sale. the small sweet town was dying. i turned down my old street, audrey and thurman have passed and their home was for sale. then i look left, my sweet old house. i havent been past it since thankful was born. my poor heart gets too attached to things. it was covered in kudzu. the exterior was painted crazy colors. the window was broken. the manicured ivy fences i left, the perfect porch, the hydrangeas, all left to fall apart. the window said that it was taken oven over by a mortgage default management agency. i have no words for what i feel about it. i called the company, no answers. i was another girl then. onward.
