halloween

went around the sweet town again this year. amazing how much i love said town. warm windows, warm porches, community.  it still exists on halloween. once, i told someone about my quest for warmth, i think they got it, i think i felt shame for saying it out loud.  tonight instead of buildng a fire outside and watching the seven sisters, i built a strong fire in the stove, wiped the make up off my growing girl, tucked her in, and made a large batch of soap. hard for my weak arm, fufilling for the heart. im changing my life. tonight we will sleep by the stove, so i can train myself again, to wake up, to fill the stove so we arent cold. i hate it. i love the warmth, i love the smell, i love having to earn it. i just hate waking up.. i cant remember my dreams.